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| Ok can I just say that I love being a youth Pastor. It truly is amazing. I just ot back from camp yesturday and all 9 of my youth got majorly impacted by God. It truly is amazing! Its probably one of the hardest things i have had to do but its definatly the most rewarding. It was awesome how after the first night service we got together in our youth groups and the kids were like you know how you were talking about God encounters last month. well we all just had one. I cant get over what God is doing in our group. we were already growing before this but now with the youth on fire its going to be amazing. Now we just got to keep it going. its so great. so ya things are pretty amazing here! | | |
| well so much is happening in my life right now. My life is flying by so fast. Im madly in love with the mad God created just for me. my mom past away last jan and in april we barried her. this is the hardest thing i have ever been through. my apartment looks awsome. Sam got a great job with benifits. and my puppy is now officially able to jump out of the bath tub and on my bed. lots lots happy lots sad. my life is very good. but like all good books there are parts that cause tears of pain and joy. I just praise God that he has given me sam. anyways just letting you know im still alive. | | |
| well i had an encounter the other day with the most hate filled counselor i have ever had. maybe some of you remember the blog i wrote the end of last semester about her. well i hadnt seen much of her since then and she hadnt come into my work since that wonderful day where she ran me like crazy and tiped me a dollor on the day she stood me up for an 8 o clock appointment. well anyways i see her some in and well i go and get the hostess and tell her dont sit her with me cause and i tell her the story and she was like ok. so madison a 17 year old hostess, of whome i am not sure of the status when it somes ot knowing the Lord yet seats her on the other side of the restaurant. well they get to the table and my ex counselor madeline says this table is wet. "it had just been cleaned" and she was like dry this table off then wash it then dry it again. so the hostess does it and comes and walks up to me and tell me what she did. well then anyways Jody her server"nonchristian" took a little long getting her drinks cause she had to go talk to the cook about their appetiser because there was something special about it and madeline the counselor gets up walks up to whitney another server "nonchristian" and says we havnt even gotten our drinks yet! well whitney goes gets her drinks brings them to her and madeline says good we have another server. well jody her server hears this as she comes with the bread right behind whitney. then after all this they come over to me and madison the hostess and tell us. well the cool manajor and my new found hero keri was working and we went over and told her everything that she had done to everyone and well my manajor said well i wouldnt let you guys to be rude to a guest so im not going to let a guest come in here and be rude to all my staff like she owns the place. so she gets up and goes over to madeline's table.
and says is there a problem can i help you and she was like because your server overheard you saying you wanted another server cause she took a little bit long on your drinks and i just wanted to let you know that the reason it took so long was because she was talking to the cook to make sure your appetizer came out right for you. im the manajor here my name is kari if you have a problem i would prefer you come talk to me about it. and she left. i guess the guest that was with madeline my counselor appeared to be very embarassed. when they left madelines friend left jody 3 and madelineleft her nothing. im just so glad that my counselor from my Christian university leaves such a great testimony everywhere she goes. im actually considering confronting her on the whole matter but im not sure yet. | | |
| well it all started thurday when i had that feeling that you have flem in you throat and you realize that you might be getting a soar throat. ya well fryday mourning came around and it wasnt too bad a little soar but i went to work well by the end of my shift i could feel my tonsils swelling up and by fryeday night they were huge and i was in extreme pain. i tried ice cream didnt work salt water didnt work. so i bought a thermomentor and my temp was 99.8 at this point and i was like go to the hospital of not. well even though i was in extreme pain and my fiancee was in utter amazement by the size of my tonsils i was thinking well dont people usually wait a couple of days with soar throats to see if it will go away. well i wasnt talking much and it was really painful so i descided that if my temp reached a 100 i would go to the hopital. well i went to bed and woke up and it was 100.5 but i was able to fall back to sleep so i figured i was ok then i woke up and it was 101.4 then i woke up again and it was 101.7 and dispight the fact that i thought i could go back to sleep i realized it was probably strep throat and i needed to go before my temp got too high. well sam drove me to the hospital at 2:00 am and my temp was 102.8 when i got there. the highest its ever been. what fun. and i couldnt swallow. when the doctor finally saw me he took one look at my throught with a flash light and said wow thats impressive. hmmmm pain. he said my tonsils were huge and he could see the puss pockets on the back of my throat. he was like ya thats strep. so ya im contageous and i cant go back to work till tuesday and i feel like cutting out my tonsils myself. its the worst soar throat ever and i have had strep before. i just cant believe how fast it came on. but ya wow. anyways. what fun. pray for me and more so for sam cause he doesnt have insurance and he cant afford to catch it. | | |
| my heart hurts. my life is a gieant train wreck with no survivors. the train, me, is so intangled and ruined it is not functional for anything other than scrap metal. and anyone in my path has been distroyed. I miss my mother beyond words. i miss her so much i cant take it. im crying even now as a write this. the pain is so deep, its an empty ache that touches every part of me. my moms death has seamed to ruin my life. my moms gone. for the rest of my life i am without her. thats a long time. the only glimpses of her i get are in dreams and only a 1/10 of those dreams are good. the rest are graffic or gory, disturbing. last night i had the most disturbing dream of my life. where they were preparing my mom to be eaten like a turkey. in my dream i couldt stop vomitting at the thought and i kept screaming no. they kept on saying she would have wanted it this way. i woke up feeling like i wanted to vomit. all day i have felt sick. my homework is a wreck right now. im so behind. im making stupid descisions. making mistakes ill regret for a long time. and a part of me just doesnt care. i hate myself right now cause i cant bring my mom back. and i feel like i should be able to. weird. i feel like no one cares. i feel like i have no one but Sam. i feel like i either talk to much or not enough for people to ever know me. why cant i be comfortable around other people. i hate this. i sonder if God still loves me. I wonder if he cares. right after mom died i was doing so well then this nose dive. right into the ground. im filled with anger and grief. and ill do anything just to take my mind off the pain and part of me didnt care. till this mourning that is. i realize i got to get back. back to the place where i would spend time with him. back to the place where i would trust in him. back to the place where i would run to him. i find myself worn beaten and tatered dragging myself back to his thrown. my wounds are deep and some are fatal, but yet im told he loved me. my cuts are so infected and my limbs are telling me that if i ignore that gangreen any longer they will call for amputation yet Jesus says he can heal me. oh Lord clean out my wounds no matter how painful the process is. oh lord heal my body my soul and spirit. heal my of my guilt ridden heart that tells me i can no longer hear you voice. resotore to me my joy. restor me back to you. help me God in here crawling towards you. not willing to run anymore. make me like you. may others see you through me despite me. | | |
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